Years ago I attended a high school summer camp retreat, and one night, one of our adult leaders corralled all of us girls into a room, leaving all of the boys on the other side of a closed door. What did this top secret, girls-only discussion consist of? In telling us not to settle, she was telling us something that every girl knows subconsciously in her heart but often fails to believe because of the doubts and insecurities she faces: she is worthy.
They would meet the criteria for the job role, and more importantly, they had the attitude, character, and goals which were the perfect fit. This counted more than academic credentials and depending on the role, even experience. It's much the same in dating.
We met at a church event one summer, our eyes meeting as I walked towards the trash can after I had finished eating. So romantic, right? The church event ended with an after-party at a local wine bar, and he was going, so I figured I might as well go and see where it went.
And what often makes things ten times worse is that the person who's doing the complaining is usually far from flawless -- whether that means they still live out home with their parents or they're far from a perfect ten in the looks department. But how do you know if you're simply holding out for Mr. Well, we're here to set the record straight and see if you really know where your priorities are at or if your standards are simply way too high. The world of dating is already hard enough as it is, and we don't want you to be your own worst obstacle.
I've been truly single for what seems like eons. But since my last serious relationship a couple of years ago, there have been several questionable matches, a few horrible first dates and a couple of almosts. Or as someone once put it, contenders.
For many men, to compromise on dealbreakers is way worse than being single. Or do you determine whether your standards are legitimately too high or too low, for that matter? Are they legitimate requirements to ensure a high quality of life, grounded in self-respect?
It's good to have some standards. Imagine where we would be if we didn't have a certain vision for our lives and our dating lives as well. But there's a big difference between having an awareness about what's good for you and taking things a bit too far in the picky department.
I have a friend. Ashley is 32, well-educated, smart, attractive, and a good person. Years ago Ashley met David through a mutual friend.
When it comes to a girl I want to see somewhat regularly or exclusively, I have high standards. They are also not requirements, which I feel is an important note. My ex-girlfriend found a great job while in college and never graduated; one of my ex-girlfriends had a long line of convicts in her family; exceptions can be made, but these are traits that are important to me. You should never consider something a person cannot control — eye color, height, skin color — to be a deal-breaker.